his plan

Not being able to see my babies from San Antonio's until Monday has turned out to be a blessing in disguise   I've gotten to spend the past three days getting to know little Naylee better.  I don't know why I worried about it in the first place, I should have remembered that God's plan is always the better one.

He's really shown me over the past year and a half not to worry, but to have faith.  Not getting into UT until second semester, ending up going to Peru, being at home by myself for six months, and being back here;  I really believe all these things have God's hand all over them.  I have grown so much through all these things.

My college story is a long one.  But put simply, I applied to ten schools.  I got into them all, but for various reasons I didn't really want to/couldn't go to any of them.  As I was about to hit accept to a college I wasn't 100% happy about, the week of the deadline, my college counselor called and said if I applied to UT I might be able to get in.  Thinking that this would be better than all of my other choices, having visited UT and liked it, and that it was "ment to be," I accepted the opportunity.

As God would have it, I didn't get accepted for the fall semester but I did get accepted for the spring.  Not knowing what I was going to do now that the deadline had passed for accepting any of the other schools, and with no school in line for spring, my mom suggested I volunteer.  I took this suggestion to heart and found IVHQ after applying for a few other programs and finding them full.  I think that my mom's idea of volunteering probably took place a little closer to home and for a shorter period of time, but I had my heart set on Peru.  I signed up for four months, got my shots, packed my bags, and stepped on my plan to start a life changing journey.

You know what I did here that first time if you read my blog.  I loved what I was doing.  Although I struggled with some issues part of the time, I loved the work most of the time.  I absolutely fell in love with the people.  Lidia and her family were so welcoming and open with their home, that by the end of my second week, I felt completely at home in their house.  I also met some extremely exceptional children.  Naylee, Joni, Jessica, and Joselyn; all of these people left huge imprints in my heart.  Some of them I may not see again, but other I will.  But they all have changed my life in drastic ways.  They made me so much more thankful for the special people in my life, and made me much more aware of the problems in our society.

I also met one of the people I still call one of my best friends.  I've heard that relationships built on Christ are the best ones, and my friendship with Jade is truly one of these.  The first time Jade and I really talked, it was about religion.  In the three weeks we were friends, she challenged my morals and faith more than any one person I have ever met.  She had a new view to everything I believed, and even though she is Baptist, she made me delve deeper into, and fall more in love with my Catholic faith.

After learning so much and being challenged in so many ways, being home was a relief.  I had more than enough free time to think and listen to God about His plans thanks to all my friends being in college.  One of the big things that I asked HIm to show me was what He wanted me to do with my life.  So many people had asked what I wanted to major in; what I wanted to do when I graduated. But I wanted to know what He wanted.  I also did a lot of great reading.  I read something one time that stuck.  It said something to the effect that to find God's plan, you should look at what really pulls at the strings of your heart.  I thought about this and realized what my heart has been burdened with.  Some people get really worked up about then environment, others about animals.  I have been given a great love for the poor and orphaned.  Ask a environmentalist about the environment ad be ready for an intense discussion; ask a vegan about animal cruelty and you will probably be in for a roller coaster ride of a conversation.  Ask me about the orphans and poor of our world and you are going to get an ear full.

After a lot of praying, I got the feeling God wanted me here, in Peru.  I wasn't sure why, but I said ok.  I bought my ticket and got ready to go, and here I am!  I'm not doing amazing things, or changing the world in huge leaps and bounds, but I am sharing His love.  I'm building even better relationships with my babies; showing them all of God's love that the parents they don't have will never show them.  I'm building a beautiful relationship with a girl named Jocelyn, whom I have never really known before.  He even sent a friend on the trip with me to share in the experience.  If this is all He wanted me down here for, I would be happy.  I just want to do His will.

I like to have everything planned out perfectly.  I like to have goals, and know exactly how I'm going to get to them.  Look in my planner and you will find every single step to every single day written down.  Doing this whole life thing God's way dosen't exactly give me a stop by stop map of where I will be in the next few years.  It is really hard at times.  Many times I want to take things into my control, mapping out my life the way I want it to be.  But, I think that if I give God the control over my life, I'm going to be much happier.  It will not always be the easier way; I'd rather be home at times with my family.  It may not be the most fun way; my heart is being broken into a million pieces each day here.  It may not be the fastest way even, but it is the best way.  I'm sure of that.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him - Psalm 37:4,7

naylee

Beautiful girl, six years old, huge smile, loves to be outside, does not like to wear shoes, rambunctious, never ending personality, always moving, likes to play in the grass, loves peek a boo, learning, learning to talk, learning to play monkey see monkey do, growing.

Growing.  Her biggest gift and worst nightmare all in one word.  For this little one, growing is exciting, but it's also going to bring with it sadness.

We have all seen people with Down Syndrom, they can be normal people if their given the right resources.  Depending on the severity, they can do pretty much everything we do.  They can work, make friends, live, eat, go to the bathroom, learn.  Growing is exciting, they are moving on to bigger and better things.

Naylee is moving on to being strapped down half of her life.  The last time I saw her, the moms had just started tying her into a wheelchair because she tried to go outside all of the time.  I hadn't seen her again until today, but I had gotten reports from other volunteers that she was still being tied to a chair.  Today as I walked in the baby room, she was the first person I saw.  She can sure light up a room with that personality. I sat down beside her and couldn't figure out why she wasn't moving from her spot on the floor.  As I investigated, I saw she was tied down.  Instead of tying her into a chair, they have started tying her to a chair turned sideways, and then it is tied to something else.  When she was tied into the chair, she would end up tipping over all the time because she wanted out so much.

I got to take Naylee outsideto play today for about three hours.  It amazes me how much he has grown in seven months.  She loves to play games, and is starting to learn how to wave and say "hola."

As Naylee gets older, she gets closer to moving up to the older children room.  This is the room where there are a ton of kids, almost all in wheel chairs.  The moms ge them ready in the morning, tied to their chairs, and then set them in front of the tv.  They are fed at lunch, and then set in front of the tv.  That is not how we are supposed to live.  If Naylee is good, she may not be forced into a wheelchair, but if she stays as vivacious as she is now, she will be.

And yet, as bad as it sounds, I have to thank God she is in this orphanage.  Most are not this good.

Many orphanage systems in Europe keep children with downs syndrom in fairly good orphanages until they are five.  Then, they get transfered to a mental asylum.  Here, 95% of babies with Down Syndrom die.  95% of babies with Down Syndrom die.  Here, they are strapped into cribs and left to die. Here is one of these precious little girls.  The first picture is before she was transferred.  The second is a few weeks after she was transferred.

Naylee would be in one of those places, where she would most likely die.  I am thankful for where she is.  But that still is no reason for this bright young thing to be treated like she is.  Not when the bible says this:

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
Matthew 18:5

I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!
Matthew 25:40

If you want to read about some families that have taken on the burden of the orphans around the world, and what they are doing, or want to read  about adoption, go to the link at the top of my blog titled "some really great stuff..."