“Here we find the source and inspiration of all our efforts at evangelization. For if we have received the love which restores meaning to our lives, how can we fail to share that love with others?” Evangelii Gaudium
A few months ago, a family friend, Mr. Hal, emailed and asked if there was any way he could help the kids I worked with in Peru. I contacted Lidia, the director of the IVHQ program in Lima, and we talked about what we could get the kids. We talked about getting them toys or clothes, but in the end decided on blankets. Toys and clothes break and are grown out of, but a blanket can last a lifetime. And for these people, it probably will. With the money Mr. Hal donated, we bought all the children in the Wawa Wasis program (a daycare program for working mothers located in Pachacutec, the shantytown surrounding Lima) a blanket.
About 100 children received a blanket a few days ago. These children are mostly from families that have one parent, whom works many hours every day. They are put in the government run Wawa Wasi program that provides three nutritious meals a day, vitamin supplements, and development testing to the children. They spend almost all of their time in these daycares. For a mother working to support her children, there is most likely not going to be extra money for presents, new clothes, or even a blanket. These children appreciate the simplets of gifts.
These blankets will be used until they are worn to rags (and then they will probably be used as rags).
A sweet caregiver with her little ones.
Proud baby with her blanket!
A group picture of all the kids, caregiver, and volunteers in one of the Wawa Wasis.
Current volunteers with IVHQ giving out the blankets bought with the donation from Mr. Hal.
A happy Wawa Wasi caregiver with her blanket and some of the little ones she watches.
I am so grateful for those who have donated throughout my journey to Peru and back. After getting to know these kids, and caregivers, I've come to realize just how beautiful each and everyone of them are. Each of them is the face of Jesus. Every donation throughout that last year and a half has helped these children in numerous ways.
Tonight, as we got ready to go get our annual picture with santa, I caught my littlest sister Catherine in a room all by herself twirling. She was in her new beautiful christmas dress, and she felt beautiful.
When she saw me watching, she stopped twirling, embarrassed. But I got my camera and eventually convinced her to twirl for some pictures. As a watched her, I realized just how lucky she is. How lucky I am.
To have someone to rejoice in the small things with you. Someone to take pictures of twirling. Someone to buy you a new Christmas dress. That is something that more than 147 million children in this world do not have.
We have been blessed with parents that have shown us Jesus' love. So many have not.
I've managed to find the comfiest booth in the library. I may sleep here tonight. Why am I in the library you ask? Well, it's exam time of course! I have four exams this coming week to take. I can't wait for them to be done, so I can head on home for my month long break from this place called Knoxville.
I am actually feeling like I will do fine on these exams, it is probably the least stressed I have even been about exams. You see I was always a cram-the-night-before kind of girl in high school. But, for these exams, I started studying Tuesday, and have been working a little bit each day. No cramming, just good, old-fashioned learning! I wouldn't have decided to take this strategy if it hadn't been for my Art History class. I do not know why I decided this class would be a good idea, but nonetheless, I started it so I am gosh dang it going to finish it.
I am really liking my strategy this year though, I might have to use it in the coming years. No cramming and less stress is always good in my book.
While I was walking to the library this morning, I was mulling over the reflections I had just read in the book my Aunt gave me for my birthday, In Conversation with God, (a great book by the way, you should read it) and I realized that my exam study strategy is all to similar to what my life is supposed to look like.
We study, study, study for the one big exam. We prepare, memorize, read, and study some more. Then, the day comes, we don't know exactly what we're going to get, but we have an idea. On the big day, we sit down in front of that paper our teacher has given us and our preparation is judged. We are held accountable for all our time in that class; for all the reading and work we were expected to do. If our preparation is good enough, we pass. On to the next thing. That is what we hope for.
Does it sound familiar? Our time on this earth is a lifelong preparation for the one big day--that day Jesus comes back and we are judged for our life.
We prepare, prepare, prepare for the one big test. We spend our life living our the word of our teacher: helping others, feeding the hungry, forgiving, loving, and loving some more. Then, the day comes, we don't know exactly what we're going to get, but we have an idea. On the big day, we stand in front of the Lord and are judged. We are held accountable for all our time on earth; for all the things Jesus told us we must do. If our preparation is good enough, we pass. On to Heaven. That is what we hope for.
Will we have put in enough time, will our actions be enough?
One of the things we talked about in bible study recently was the parable of the talents. In this parable, the master gives three men each different amounts of talents, according to each's ability, for safe keeping. When he comes back, the two with the most talents have invested them and gotten back more in returen. The one with the least buried his and has the same amount. The master is happy with the first two men and angry at the third man.
I liken this parable to the quote "We are all called to be saints." Now I think that like many great quotes, this one is used much too often. It is probably used so often because it speaks to many hearts. It reminds gently that in each situation we are going though, we must choose the saintly road.
I think it goes wonderfully with this gospel because it also shows how each of us is given our "talents" according to our abilities. While each of us are called to be a saint, that sainthood is different for every single person out there. Some people may be called to motherhood, to discipling their children to the Lord. Others may be called to move to a different country and give their love to those who have no one. And yet another person may be called to be an amazing boss to a huge company.
Our society has a weird way of judging these accomplishments. We put a golden halo on the one who moves away to a foreign country to live the missionary life, and say that the stay at home mom has it easy. We say the man at the top of that company has accomplished the american dream. But, if all of these people are doing the Lord's will, then are they not all living out the sainthood they have been called to? No matter how big or small the things God calls you to are in the eyes of society, if they are His will, they are huge. What if the missionary is not using his full abilities to serve the Lord, while the mom is. What is she is using every last ounce of energy she has to raise her children up in the Lord. Who is living up to the sainthood God has called them to?
In his parable, Jesus goes on to say that, "Everyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich; but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away."
It sounds rather harsh doesn't it? But, after reading it and contemplating it for awhile, I really think that it is fair. God wants for each of us to be a saint. To those who use all the graces the Lord has given them, to live to their full saintly potential, only more graces can be given. Through living out a life dedicated to Christ, one can only become closer to Him. But, for those who have not used the talents God has given them, even if they are smaller than other peoples in the eyes of society, nothing more can be given. After this life, in judgement, what little they has will be taken away.
I am Pro-Life. Coming into a setting that is not primarily Catholic has been interesting to say the least. I don't know when it happened, but I am not afraid anymore to tell other people my opinions. I know that by being a fairly conservative Catholic, there are some issues in which my view are not mainstream. One of these is abortion. Not just abortion, but death penalty, euthanasia; I am Pro-Life. Life begins at conception, and should not end until every reasonable type of care has been given. Now there are always "what ifs." But, these are the exceptions, these are the situations that take a lot of prayer and conversation with God. What is reasonable care in the matter of the dying elderly? Well I don't know, only God and the people in that particular situation can.
But, back to the point of this post. In English, we have been writing a lot of papers. Along with my discovery of not being scared to voice my opinion, I have also realized that I can write a book on a topic that I am passionate about. The first few papers we wrote were ok. I wrote them and they got great grades, but I didn't enjoy writing them. The last paper we wrote was an argumentative paper on any current topic we wanted to choose. Being the very opinionated person I am, I chose abortion. One day we had to tell the person we sat by what our topic was going to be, and explain it to them. The girl I told just sat and stared at me with her mouth literally wide open.
That just made me smile on the inside. Even more reason to write the paper. I'm pretty proud of it. So, drum roll please....here it is:
“A Person’s A Person No Matter How Small” There are millions of people who have impacted our world and made it the place it is today. While every person has a part in this process, some are more influential than others. Think of Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., President Barrack Obama, and Steve Jobs. All of these people have had or continue to have a major impact on the world they lived in. I’m going to present you with a scenario. I won’t tell you to close your eyes, because we all know that most people spend this time worrying about whether everyone else is doing it, and peeking to make sure they don’t look stupid. But, I will ask you to think for a minute about this world I am going to describe to you. Think of a world where African Americans had not been given equal rights, of a world where Barrack Obama would never have been able to become president. Think of a world without Einstein’s laws of Physics, which are the basis of so much of our knowledge about the world today. Think of a world without iPhones, and Macs, and all the other innovations by Apple. It is hard isn’t it, to imagine a place like that. The truth is, that we will never know what it could be like—what the world would be today if these people had not influenced it. You can’t deny that each person in this world leaves a mark. Each person is invaluable, and affects those around them. They then affect another person and so on, until a mark has been made. But what happens when not everyone gets a chance to make his or her mark? Steve Jobs was born to two Graduate Students from the University of Wisconsin during a time that didn’t know personal computers or cell phones (Steve Jobs). His parents, not being married or in a position to raise a child, gave their son up for adoption. Because of the choice his birthmother made, Jobs was given his chance to make an impact on the world, and make an impact he did. I doubt there is a single American who does not own or know somebody who owns an Apple product. But what if Jobs had been one of the estimated 50 million babies aborted every year (The Truth About Abortion Q & A)? Where would we be today? One third of the most recent generation has been killed by abortion. If you have nine good friends, there were three more that you never got to meet. Imagine the potential of all these people. Perhaps one of them would have found the cure to cancer, or brought peace to the world. Perhaps one of them would have invented a hovering car that wouldn’t have to be driven. As crazy as that last one may sound, it could have happened, but we will never know because these people never got to experience the most basic right of every human--life. Our nation, when it was founded, acknowledged this basic right to life for every person. It is written in The Declaration of Independence, “All men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” Abortion is a violation of the most basic human right acknowledged in this document that our nation takes so much pride in. Abortion is defined in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as: “The termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the fetus or embryo as induced expulsion of a human fetus.” From the moment of conception, until week 4, the baby is considered an embryo. At the very moment every baby is conceived, he or she has the DNA Blueprint of the man or woman he or she will grow to be. The baby’s eye color, hair color, and gender are all decided. Between one and four weeks of development, the baby’s spinal cord, brain, hair, and skin begin to form. These are the beginnings of the baby's sight, smell, and touch. The heart and circulatory systems also rapidly form; the baby, at this point, has the basis for the systems that will carry it through life. The baby’s heart begins to beat at just 18 days (Facts of Fetal Development). Ninety-nine percent of abortions occur before 21 weeks of life (Abortion Statistics). Well before this time, the baby’s heart pumps blood in a separate circulatory system than his or her mother, the baby has all of his or her body parts, the baby can suck his or her thumb, and the baby’s brain waves can be recorded (Facts of Fetal Development). A human being is defined as, “having forms or attributes of a human or being susceptible to or representative of the sympathies and frailties of human nature (Merriam Webster).” It is clear after looking at the development of an unborn child, that just like you and me, a baby from conception onward has the attributes of a human. The Declaration of Independence gives every human a right to “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” Life is what distinguishes a living being from a dead being; it is a state of being characterized by metabolism and growth (Merriam Webster). At conception, an embryo is characterized by an ability of growth. Conceived with a blueprint for the person he or she will grow to be, there is no arguing that the embryo is not characterized by an ability to become just like you and me. According to the dictionary’s definition of life, an embryo has just that, the quality of life. Therefore, since it is representative of the qualities of a human being, it is human. Life begins at conception; there can be no doubt! Many people say that an unborn baby is not a child; but this ignores the reasoning above. On the contrary, it is obvious that an embryo from the day of conception onward is a human being. In the days of the Holocaust, Hitler told Germans that the Jewish people were not human. Because of their belief in his teachings, whether they were right or wrong, over 11 million people were killed (Holocaust – Non-Jewish Holocaust Victims – Teachers Guide). We look back at those events today and wonder what was going though the Germans’ minds, how could they allow such atrocities to occur? We teach our children about the Holocaust in their history classes, so that they can learn from the world’s past mistakes. We teach them a holocaust of that sort must be avoided at all costs. Today, a look at the numbers tells us that every year 1.2 million babies are killed by abortion. Take that and multiply it by the many years abortions have been performed and you get a number much greater than 11 million. Today, we are participating in our own Holocaust, a Holocaust of unborn children. What are our children’s children going to think of us when they read about the holocaust that is taking place in our society today? Why do we blindly believe the people that tell us these children are not human? According to the Declaration of Independence, every human is given the right to life. But what about the rights of the mother, she is a human being too; she is older and obviously has the right to make decisions for herself. A mother murdering her infant is considered a heinous crime, so why is a mother killing the child in her womb, a being even more dependent on her for it’s life, to be tolerated. If the child is not a human being, then perhaps there is no question as to whether or not abortion is the mother’s decision. But, as I have proved above, the embryo is a human from the moment of conception. Therefore the embryo has all the same rights as you and me. The United States of America has a duty to protect these rights equally. Both the infant and the embryo are human. In certain situations, the government recognizes the killing of another person, such as in self-defense, not as a crime, but as a necessary action to preserve life. It is the same in the matter of abortion. If the indirect consequence of a life saving procedure for a mother is the abortion of a child, then the greater good is to save the mother. But, if the intent of the procedure is to kill the child, it is murder. It does not matter the method that a mother kills her infant; murder should be murder in the eyes of our society, no matter how it is done. Dr. Seuss says, “A person is a person no matter how small” (Horton Hears a Who). There is no denying that from the moment our parents conceived us, we contained within us the blueprint of who we are today. Imagine that your parents had aborted you; what would the lives of those you have effected be like? Each of the 1.2 million babies aborted every year in the US could be fully-grown and developed members of society, just like you and me. They start the same way you did. How can we allow a woman to deny the right to life to someone who is just like all of us? If it were your best friend that someone was trying to kill, would you sit back and just watch it happen? Your best friend and the embryo that is about to be aborted as you read this are of the exact same essence. They are human beings; they both have the ability to metabolize and grow, they both deserve to live. They are undeniably human. The Declaration of Independence guarantees all humans a right to life. What is to become of our country if we continue to ignore the most basic right our nation was founded on?
So one of the blogs I read is written by a woman who founded 147 Million Orphans, an organization based in Nashville! That aims to help orphans and adoptive families. Just recently, they posted about, what is in my opinion an awesome idea, their new initiative. Here it is:
SO WE AT 147 ARE ASKING YOU TO COME ALONG SIDE OF US AND HELP US TO ASK OTHERS TO PRAY DOWN THE NUMBER AT 1:47 PM ... where ever you are just stop and lift up orphans to the FATHER - pray for friend's adoptions, pray for the orphan who is hungry, pray the for the orphan that is sick, pray for the families sitting on the fence about adoption, pray for orphan/adoption ministries, pray for those serving orphans, ... WHATEVER GOD LAYS ON YOUR HEART ABOUT THE FATHERLESS - pray pray pray !!!
put in on your calendar, make it an appt. on your phone, write it on your hand, put a sticky note on your mirror or do them all ... LET'S ALL STAND TOGETHER, WATCH OUR FAITH GROW AND THE NUMBER GO DOWN !!! - to read the rest of the article click here
I would be so grateful if you all would join in. I find that setting my phone alarm works the best...
I've found out lately jut how much prayer matters. It is what grows our relationship with God; it is like the phone calls and texts we send out friends. Without these little efforts to get to know our fellow humans, we would not have friendship. Without our effort to know God through prayer, we cannot have a relationship with him.
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. - John 14: 13-14
Praying as a community is one of the greatest things about being in the network of Christians all over the world. Let's life up these children and families to the Lord and ask him to make radical waves. To make radical changes.
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours - Matthew 11:24
I follow a blog called No Greater Joy Mom. I don't know when I started reading this blog, but I know why. She's mom to two beautiful babies that just happen to have down syndrome. I've always loved her posts because I can see how much having family that loves instead of putts down, and that cares instead of ignores, can make a difference.
Last night, I was reading one of her posts and it hit me like a rock. I miss my babies in Peru. I miss them all, but especially one in particular. Naylee. Why do babies with down syndrom catch at my heart? I don't know, I guess it's just the way God made me.
Between the first time I visited Naylee and the second, she grew so much. When I went back she was starting to try to mimic words, played games, and even more energetic than before. But, she was also being tied down more than ever. Her strength and size (the strength and size of a 6 year old without down syndrome), was too much for the nurses.
I found out,after playing with her, that she does get tired. She is so energetic and hard to handle because she dosen't get to get rid of her energy. I would be bouncing off the walls too if I didn't get to get out of my chair all day. It broke my heart then and it still does now, that the best gifts God gave her, her energy and love of life, are the reasons she is being held captive in a car seat. I can remember the anger I felt when I walked in her room and she was tied into her chair and then to a leg of a table so she couldn't tip the chair over as she tried to get out. Or the time that I walked in the room from taking another baby outside to play and the mom was trying to tie her into her chair by her waist and her neck. Those were the times that I had to leave the room. I couldn't watch without doing something, and I couldn't do anything if I wanted to be able to come back and love on her. There's a very fine balance between what we can do in the orphanages and what we can't. We cannot be disrespectful or the director will not let us come back, because the moms will tell him we were making trouble.
After a few days, Naylee started to remember me. She is so smart; she even started to learn my name. We would play games on day, and when I wold come back, she would want to play the same games; placing my hands over my eyes so we would play hide and seek. After a few days of playing with her, she started to let me hold her. She doesn't let anybody hold her; but that's only because they don't take the time to love her. She would sit in my lap for a hour just letting me scratch her back and rock her. She loved to be loved.
I was trying to read a book for my book club earlier today, but all I could think about was little Naylee. It completely blows my mind sometimes that she is over there doing her thing and I'm here doing mine. It is so easy to forget. But then God reminds me. She is over there, probably in her chair, just waiting for someone to come through the door and play with her. My worries and problems seen so frivolous when I think about hers. She simply needs to be loved.
Another blog, Loving the Least of These, had a beautiful post today about being burdened. God has burdened my heart with a love for those babies. Sometimes it feels like too much, like today. Sometimes I just want to forget it all. But then, what would be my purpose? Sure, it is easier to forget, but is that love? Can I love if I don't feel the burden of those who need?
So, when the days seem to drag on with memories of hugs and kisses from those babies, I'm still thankful. Thankful that I know about it and then God has burdened my heart with the need to love in His name.
While I am not in another country, or doing anything particularly cool, I do think that college life does deserve at least one post. If you don't want to read about it, then please don't. I give you permission to skip this and only read about the cool things I plan on doing with my life later on.
University of Tennessee, who knew that I would end up being a Tennessee Volunteer after all those years of vol hating. It feels like I have been here forever. The things that seemed cool and new to me when I first got here are so routine that I can't even remember which ones they were.
There's a start, I really do love UT. I know that the orange is probably the ugliest color in the world. I definitely do not bleed orange, even on game days. UT football. It is certainly an experience. It poured my first game, and lets just say at the second game, the guy sitting behind my group had a little too much pre game fun. The fun went all over us. Get the picture? Needless to say, I have not lasted through a whole game yet. Although I do find the school spirit amazing, I tend to get bored after halftime. We usually stay through the half time show by the good old Pride of the South Marching Band, and then hit the road.
I have learned something about football though. I joined the Catholic Student Association Flag Football team, better known as Charlie's Angles (our priest is Father Charlie). I am told that the first position I held is called "being on the line." I also ventured into some offense, but it really wasn't a great fit. Most of the time, I just ended up ducking so that my teammate could throw the ball to the person on the other side of me. After two of our games, I managed to snag the position of rusher. I was meant to be a rusher. I you ever watched me play basketball, you might remember that I had a hard time not running into people. Most of the fouls I got were because I was being too rough...so, rushing the QB turned out to be the perfect job for me. I even managed to get his flags once before he threw the ball!
The Catholic Student Association, or CSA, is the made up of some of the most amazing people I have ever met. Between, Bible study, our weekly CSA meeting, inter murals, and other things, I am most likely found with some member of CSA every night after I get done with work. If I'm not doing something organized then you can probably find me in John 23 studying. John XII is the Catholic parish that is actually located on campus. The BCM (Baptist people), and John23 are the only two ministeries that aren't owned by the school. The building is located about 2 minutes max from my dorm. It is pretty much open at all times of the day, and there are endless rooms to study in and a lot of the time there is food up for grabs. It is a truly wonderful place, that I have come to fully appreciate.
Hmmm anything else? Classes? Their fine. Nothing too mind blowing, although my Art History is rather mind numbing. I struggle daily to stay awake in that class. My advisor today said that I could continue on with it next semester and I had a hard time not laughing out loud. If I wanted to torture myself for an hour three times/week, then Art History would be the first class on my list. We got to write a dialogue in my Child and Family studies class last week about how to change a baby's diaper while talking a normal amoutn and more than normal. After that, she said we could act it out if we wanted. We didn't.
On a completely different note, 40 Days for Life officially started Wednesday. Fast, Pray, and Pray some more for an end to abortion. If you live in Nashville, there is a pretty awesome group of people praying outside of the abortion clinics there. GO JOIN THEM! Click in the website and sign up for a time slot! I will hopefully be doing the same in Knoxville soon!
I'm gonna wrap this up now, its getting pretty late. Here are a few last notes:
1. It's fall break. I had to stay here for the first two days because I have to work during the week. The campus is deserted. I walked to my advisor meeting today and saw 6 people, 2 of which were maintenance.
2. Since there are no people here, the cafeteria dosen't open until 10:30am. This is way past my breakfast time. But I'll live, don't worry.
3. You would think that they would reduce the amount of food they cook accordingly to the amount of people on campus. They don't. There was so much food.
4. Usually, you have to wait for the elevator, but I don't have to this weekend!
5. People must have been a lot smarted when they built their dorms, because the mailboxes are impossible to open unless your really smart.
6. It never takes as long as I think its going to take to get to class. I always an at least 10 minutes early.
7. One of my favorite people, Sara DePhillips, is now in Honduras at the Farm of the Child. Here's her blog if you are looking for something to read...I highly recommend it.
May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that we may live deep within our hearts.
May God bless us with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that we may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, hunger, and war, so that we may reach out our hands to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless us with enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this world, so that we can do what others claim cannot be done, to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Packing for college made me realize exactly how much stuff I have. In my short 19 years of life, I have managed to accumulate enough stuff to fill up probably over 20 bins. Part of this is because I can't pass up a bargain. I have always been a fan of bargains, the cheaper the better. My rational behind shopping at cheaper stores was: 1. that I didn't want to spend money because I don't have that much and 2. because as a christian, I believe being a good steward of my money is the right thing to do.
Around the time that I was packing for college, I learned just how many of the items I buy at "cheap stores" are made in sweatshops. Modern day slave labor. I realized what I was supporting by shopping at stores that are cheap; child labor, men and women working for nothing, unfair working conditions, and unethical treatment. Basically, I was helping to strip these people of the dignity God gave them so I could get a bargain.
I've hear many people say that it's better to give these people jobs than to let them starve, but the Church teaches otherwise. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1753:
"The end does not justify the means"
Yes, giving these people jobs is a good outcome, but the means of doing this, are not ok. The giving of jobs does not make stripping people of their dignity ok.
After having a good and hard think about this issue, I decided to try to shop less and much more smartly. Shopping less is pretty self-explanatory. Shopping more smartly is a little buit harder, and I'm still trying to figure it out. It definitely is not something that happens at the snap of a finger, it takes effort and time.
I bought a book called the Better World Shopping Guide. This book is a very handy, pocket sized book that ranks companies according to how ethical and environmentally friendly the company is. Although it does not deal only with the sweatshop issue, it does take this matter into consideration when rating the companies. It is a very easy way to start "voting with your money" as other people say. You can make a difference in your everyday grocery shopping jut by changing the brand of granola bars you buy.
I've also started researching fair trade companies. I am so proud of the new sandals I bought from Sseko Designs. These sandals are made by women in Uganda. Here's what the website says about them:
The base of the sandals are hand made from genuine leather. Every pair of sandals comes with a pair of straps. The base of the sandals, regardless of the pattern or color of the strap you choose, are made the same. Each sandal has five anchor points to loop the straps through that allow you to tie your sandals differently everyday!
And I really have tied them differently everyday! They are also comfy (I've worn them to class everyday since I got them!) Although they are a bit of an investment, once you buy the base, the straps are only $8-10. You could also make your own using ribbon or material a friend of mine pointed out. Just add up the cost of all the sandals you will buy in the future and I'm sure it will be more than buying one pair of Ssekos will cost. Buying less and buying smartly...there you go!
All those people suffering out there. All the children without someone to love them. The homeless without anybody to listen to them. The elderly without family. The sick without anybody to care for them. You get the picture.
They are told God loves them, which He does! But how are they going to know that love? I know of God's love from others. From my parents as a baby, teachers growing up, friends, strangers. How are they supposed to know God's love when they are surrounded by such suffering? Us. God gave them us.
We must show them His love if they are ever to know it.
Not just a one time thing. Everyday. Jesus took our sins as his burden. Their burden must be ours as ours is His. Taking up their burden so they may know the love of Jesus. Striving everyday to become more like Jesus, to become smaller. Less me, more Him. He became so small that He literally allowed Himself to be eaten. Can I become that small? To be eaten by others? To take up their burdens so they may know Christ?
"If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it." - Mother Teresa
I'm going to be honest, I would rather not look at these pictures. They are hard. It hurts my heart, it is easier to not look and forget. It is easier to go along with my easy life and not think about the pain she is suffering. The pictures below are of one of a little 9 year old girl with Down Syndrome in an orphanage. She is NINE.
This picture was taken a month ago, she is ELEVEN now. This beautiful little girl is wasting away. She is literally dying at this moment as we sit in our comfy houses, with our pantries filled with food, thinking about the things we want to buy.
She is my Sister in Christ. What does that mean; we are all Brothers and Sisters in Christ? If that little girl were my sister, I would be freaking out. I would sell everything to get her out of there.
Sometimes I wonder why people went along with the Holocaust. 11 million people died because everyone went along with the message they were fed by the Nazis. I read about those people in my history book and wondered how they went along with the killing, why they didn't stop it.
Will people look back at my generation with the same questions? Every year, 15 million children die from starvation. 15 million. That's not including adults, just children. Will they wonder why we didn't do anything, why we sat in our comfy homes and just watched the commercials about the starving children in Africa. Why we lived so comfortably compared to the rest of the world?
But I think, even more importantly, what will God say when I reach the gates of Heaven? When I am so close to spending eternity in His presence, will I have done enough?
The pictures came from here. If you click on this link, you can see where money is being raised to save our sister.
I made it safely home yesterday after about 12 hours of flying and 4 hours of driving. I am happy to be home, I've opened the friseg multiple times just to look at our normal food. Seeing my family, minus my dad who is out of town, has been really great. I didn't realize how much I missed them.
Now, I'm getting ready for school. I packed a lot before I left, but there is still a trail of things around the house that need to be packed. I think I'm going to go up to school today with some of my stuff and my mom is going to come up tomorrow with the rest and officially move me in. The plan was to go up tomorrow, but it turns out I need to be at something the school has planned for freshmen tomorrow or I will fail my freshmen class. Going up today means that I'm not going to get to see my dad! I haven't seen him for almost a month now. Well, I'm off to go pack!
I may be home, but there are still some really big things in the works Peru-wise. Keep checking back!
When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. She obtains wool and flax and makes cloth with skillful hands. Like merchant ships, she secures her provisions from afar. Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has a unfailing prize. She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household. She picks out a field to purchase; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is girt about with strength, and sturdy are her arms. She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle. She reaches out her hand to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy. She fears not the snow for her household; all her charges are doubly clothed. She makes her own coverlets; fine linen and purple are her clothing. Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land. She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel.
She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness. Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her: "Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all." Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates. - Proverbs 31: 10-31
The Proverbs 31 woman is someone I was just recently introduced to. I think that other may have known her before I did, and I'm a little bit angry no one introduced us sooner...she is an amazing woman. Also knows as the virtuous woman, she encompasses many of the traits I wish to have. She is a Godly woman, a Jesus girl at heart.
I've got a surprise coming that has something to do with this virtuous woman! Check back soon to get in on the secret! I'm pretty much jumping up and down right now from excitement, but then I remember I have about ten thousand things to do in the next few hours before I go to bed and stop jumping. I am super excited though and can't wait until everything that is happening is more final/I have more time to really share!
I saw this video probably a few months ago and thought it was really cool. Tonight, I stumbled upon it (literally, we spend a lot of time during the week on stumble upon here in Peru).
It gives you a lot to think about, watch it twice if you need to.
Today, as I walked through Pachacutec, someone called my name in a very cute Peruvian accent. One of the third graders I taught today I wondered? I turned around towards the voice and got a huge hug. Not from one of my third graders though, from one of my SIXTH GRADERS. Do you remember them? No, let me refresh your memory...
This is the class that I was able to sponsor with the donations you all gave me. That money is still effecting people today. The love it helped to spread means so much.
My mind was blown and my day was made after that short conversation. I had no idea that any of the sixth graders would remember me seven months later. I know that I stand out, being about one of ten while people in almost the whole of Pachacutec. But still, volunteers come and go pretty frequently.
I was very happy after this conversation.
This afternoon, after we got home from Pachacutec and ate lunch, Katie and I went to the new orphanage Divino Jesus. This orphanage is the new home of all the babies from San Antonio.
This orphanage makes me happy also. Yesterday was the first time we were allowed to visit this orphanage, and it is very different than the one they were in before. At Divine Jesus, there are 5-8 children in each room with one mom to a room. The moms seem much happier here, and this translates into better care for the kids.
My kids yesterday were allowed to play with their toys all day; we even colored! Having 6 children versus 15 children in one room makes a huge difference as to what you can do with them. Today, when we went back, Katie and I walked into the huge courtyard and found them all playing outside! In all four months I was at San Antionio's, I probably played outside with those babies no more than 15 days. Today, all of the kids were out together, and the moms were playing with them. They were getting to be little kids; running and screaming and laughing. I was happy when I left there today.
Happy for the first time ever leaving an orphanage. But happiness must be a relative thing, because even through they are better off, they are still missing so many things they deserve. Parents to worry about tucking them in bed, about wether they have eaten enough, about their cough and runny nose, and about the bump on their head. The small things that mean the most, the untangle things. Those are the things that matter the most. I was happy today. But still, I was sad.
Once you meet these kids who have no one; once you hold their hand and kiss their bellies, you can't fully heal your heart. Your heart is broken the moment you let yourself love them. After knowing their pain and longing for love, you can't be completely happy again. This is the way I would have it though. I wouldn't ever change it. Because we are told:
"I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!" - Matthew 25:40
Jesus dies for me, the least I can do for Him is continue to love with a break in my heart.
This weekend is a quiet one. There were only five, soon to be three of us at home. Everyone minus us (including Katie) went sand boarding, and two of the five left are leaving tonight. I've taken this weekend to get things in order. Yesterday, I got my banking account ready, figuring it needs to be in reasonable shape before I head to school. Today, I made the trek to Plaza San Miguel (the closest thing to a mall in Lima) and Tottus (think Walmart) to get out some money and buy my parting gifts. Being the only one who needed to go there, I took the opportunity to take a nice long walk by myself and really take in my surroundings. Since it's a good thirty minute walk, most people want to just take the bus there, but I enjoy walking!
After today, I feel like I must not be doing a very good job of living in the present moment. I noticed so many more things when I was looking for them.
Here are a few things I love about Peru.
Looking at the grass and thinking it must have poured over night because there are so many puddles, only to remember that it dosen't rain in Lima. What happened? Let's just say that they really like to water the grass here. A better term might be drowning. Yes, they really like to drown their grass.
Watching a father and son play football. Not typical Peruvian football, but American football. This is actually the first time I have ever seen an American football in Peru. They do get points for trying, but I think I might be able to catch better then they could.
The dogs. There are so many dogs, and they are always a good form of entertainment. A few days ago, there was a big dog that was inside a gate. He could just barely get his head and one leg to stick out between the bars. On the other side was a small dog that thought it would be funny to get a close as possible to the big dog without getting eaten. The big dog was going crazy.
Being sold things everywhere. I decided to keep track of the things I saw people trying to sell through car widows today: gum, hard candy, cookies, rags, brooms, q-tips, and car fresheners are just a few. Some memorable things that I didn't see today include kites and ice cream. Coming out of any major store, you are likely to find pople on the side of the road selling DVDs, CDs, candy apples, crackers, cookies, drinks, candy, meat on a stick, rice pudding, popcorn, corn on the cob, and many many more things. There are also people who get on the public buses and try to sell things. Some of the more creative things I have seen sold on a bus are magazines, children's books, pens, and office supplies. If you happen to need something other than what is being sold through car windows and on busses no worries, most likely you can find it just a few houses down at the corner store.
There is so much to be said for living in the present. I think it may be one of the hardest things to do given how our society functions today. Being connected is everything. Thinking on my last visit to Peru, one of the things the other volunteers and I loved was the lack of cell phones. Yes, Peruvian have cell phones, but most of us didn't. It is so much easier to talk when the person your talking to isn't looking at their phone every 30 seconds. It really makes you feel like you matter to them.
Along with being connected, comes a lack of silence. Silence is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. Here, the Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts; directing us to God's path and showing us things that are hidden within. Silence is the time between comments in a meaningful conversation where everyone thinks about what is being said. The thing people are so uncomfortable with that an "awkward turtle" comment or something similare breaks the silence after a moment more often than not. Silence is where we can reflect on ourselves, the bad and the good. Maybe this is why we don't like silence. Music in cars, TV at home, facebook and twitter news feed to our phone 24/7; maybe all of this noise lets us ignore the ugly things inside. I know for me, it is a lot easier to turn on music sometimes than think about the hard things. To watch TV instead of praying, to listen to music in the car instead of sitting in silence with the Lord. I think that in spite of being so connected to the world, I am quite unconnected to the one person who matters the most.
Thank you to all of you who kept Joselyn in your prayers over the past few days. I finally got into contact with the house she is staying at and they say she is there. You all lifted her up to the Lord, and He must have worked in her heart. I know you are probably wondering why it took so long to get in touch with her. So I'm going to explain. Peru is so backwards sometimes.
I have a Peruvian cell phone. In order to use that phone, I have to make sure it is "charged." It turns out that yesterday my phone ran out of money, so I had to go find a place to charge it, which is just random places on the street. Why didn't I use the house phone to call you ask? Well, you can't call cell phones from house phones or house phones from cell phones. So today, I went out on search for a place to recharge my phone.
I talked to the woman in charge of the house because the girls are not allowed to use the phone (but they are allowed to use the computer and leave the house for school...). She said that Joselyn is there, but she is not allowed to have visitors. So I will not be able to visit her again while I'm here because she is only allowed to have visitors on the weekends (which is why I couldn't just go see if she was at the house yesterday). The woman gave me a reason as to why she can't have visitors, but with all the background noise, her rapid spanish, and my little spanish, I could not understand her. I'm guessing it is because Joselyn was out late on the night that she was talking to me on facebook. That night, she told me she was in a random internet cafe somewhere in her neighborhood.
Now that I know she is ok, and the frustration of a very difficult phone system is out of the way, I can breath again. I'm sure that all of the prayers for her have something to do with her safety, and I am so grateful for them all.
Joselyn, the girl I've been visiting the last two weeks, need prayers right now. She is really struggling with her life right now. She is at the point of doing something drastic. I've done all I can, showing her how much we love her, telling her over and over again. Her life is sad, there is no one to tell her these things permanently. She dosen't believe this message of love coming from me. I can only hope that the Lord will intervene.
As I talked to her no facebook tonight, she said she didn't want to go back to the girl's home she is staying at, that no one loves her, that she is not worth anything, that there is no reason for her to live. Breaking my heart a little more with each message because I know the truth. That she is loved, she is beautiful, she is worth more than the world, that her life is a gift to many, that the Lord has great things in her future. But she does not see these things. This is a message that so many people in our world are being told. Please pray for her tonight. She got off facebook saying this is the last time she will ever be on. I don't know where she is now, it's a horrible feeling not knowing wether she is ok or not. All I can do is pray, will you join me in lifting her name up to our Lord tonight?
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
My dad sent this in an email, and I think it is rather appropriate to what I've been writing about lately. One of the reasons I'm here right now is to find God in bigger ways than I ever have before. I've seen people who are so in love with God they radiate His Joy. One thing that stands out about all of them is their faith in where the Lord is taking them. They are willing to do anything and give everything to find Him. I've got to be willing to take risks to find this amazing love. "To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."
The things I've been seeing here, they way these babies are unloved and unwanted. They way the women are forced to beg to keep their children alive. The way children my sisters ages are sent out to beg until past midnight with no parent supervision. The houses with noting except a mattress on the floor for the whole family to sleep on. The little boy who has water on his brain; something that could have been fixed with surgery if he had been born in the US. Who has been trapped in his wheelchair for all 6 years of his life; who cries because he wants so badly to get out and play like the normal children. Children so full of life and energy they are tied down to keep them from running around too much. The three year olds who hit and bite so the moms will look at them. The seven day old being taught to be strong and not cry. All of these things have broken my heart, but it is being broken for a reason. Only by being broken as Jesus was can I give as Jesus gave. "When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."
Doing God's will is not always the easiest way I could go. It's not going to be the smoothest path. There are going to be hard things, things that hurt. But, I know that if it's God's will I will be protected. Jesus' life was not easy. He was ridiculed, mocked, persecuted, hated, and betrayed. He was loved by many, but hated by many more. Jesus was radical; He didn't live by society's standards but by His Father's. We used to wear bracelets that said WWJD. Being young, I don't think my friends or I fully grasped the gravity of this question. I probably still don't. What would Jesus do? Put him in our society today, and where would He be? This is a question I must ask myself. Am I doing what he would be doing, going where he would be going? Am I living by society's standards or by my Father in Heaven's? It's a tough question. I'm not sure of the answer, but when I do figure it out I know that even if the road looks tough He will protect me. "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
When Jesus sends our the disciples He does not make their journey sound easy. He gives no false messages. He's a tell it like it is kind of guy...what He has to say dosen't sound fun. But, if I'm not facing these kind of problems, am I living as Jesus did or as society tells me to?
Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of the wolves.
Brother will hand over brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise up against parents and have them put to death.
You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved.
What I say to you in the darkness, speak in the light; what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.
Everyone who acknowledges me before others I will acknowledge before my heavenly Father. But whoever denies me before others, I will deny before my heavenly Father.
Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword.
For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and one's enemies will be those of his household.
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me and whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my same will find it.
- Mathew 10
If you haven't heard of Katie Davis, you absolutely need to watch this video about her upcoming book. it will give you chill bumps...
Not being able to see my babies from San Antonio's until Monday has turned out to be a blessing in disguise I've gotten to spend the past three days getting to know little Naylee better. I don't know why I worried about it in the first place, I should have remembered that God's plan is always the better one.
He's really shown me over the past year and a half not to worry, but to have faith. Not getting into UT until second semester, ending up going to Peru, being at home by myself for six months, and being back here; I really believe all these things have God's hand all over them. I have grown so much through all these things.
My college story is a long one. But put simply, I applied to ten schools. I got into them all, but for various reasons I didn't really want to/couldn't go to any of them. As I was about to hit accept to a college I wasn't 100% happy about, the week of the deadline, my college counselor called and said if I applied to UT I might be able to get in. Thinking that this would be better than all of my other choices, having visited UT and liked it, and that it was "ment to be," I accepted the opportunity.
As God would have it, I didn't get accepted for the fall semester but I did get accepted for the spring. Not knowing what I was going to do now that the deadline had passed for accepting any of the other schools, and with no school in line for spring, my mom suggested I volunteer. I took this suggestion to heart and found IVHQ after applying for a few other programs and finding them full. I think that my mom's idea of volunteering probably took place a little closer to home and for a shorter period of time, but I had my heart set on Peru. I signed up for four months, got my shots, packed my bags, and stepped on my plan to start a life changing journey.
You know what I did here that first time if you read my blog. I loved what I was doing. Although I struggled with some issues part of the time, I loved the work most of the time. I absolutely fell in love with the people. Lidia and her family were so welcoming and open with their home, that by the end of my second week, I felt completely at home in their house. I also met some extremely exceptional children. Naylee, Joni, Jessica, and Joselyn; all of these people left huge imprints in my heart. Some of them I may not see again, but other I will. But they all have changed my life in drastic ways. They made me so much more thankful for the special people in my life, and made me much more aware of the problems in our society.
I also met one of the people I still call one of my best friends. I've heard that relationships built on Christ are the best ones, and my friendship with Jade is truly one of these. The first time Jade and I really talked, it was about religion. In the three weeks we were friends, she challenged my morals and faith more than any one person I have ever met. She had a new view to everything I believed, and even though she is Baptist, she made me delve deeper into, and fall more in love with my Catholic faith.
After learning so much and being challenged in so many ways, being home was a relief. I had more than enough free time to think and listen to God about His plans thanks to all my friends being in college. One of the big things that I asked HIm to show me was what He wanted me to do with my life. So many people had asked what I wanted to major in; what I wanted to do when I graduated. But I wanted to know what He wanted. I also did a lot of great reading. I read something one time that stuck. It said something to the effect that to find God's plan, you should look at what really pulls at the strings of your heart. I thought about this and realized what my heart has been burdened with. Some people get really worked up about then environment, others about animals. I have been given a great love for the poor and orphaned. Ask a environmentalist about the environment ad be ready for an intense discussion; ask a vegan about animal cruelty and you will probably be in for a roller coaster ride of a conversation. Ask me about the orphans and poor of our world and you are going to get an ear full.
After a lot of praying, I got the feeling God wanted me here, in Peru. I wasn't sure why, but I said ok. I bought my ticket and got ready to go, and here I am! I'm not doing amazing things, or changing the world in huge leaps and bounds, but I am sharing His love. I'm building even better relationships with my babies; showing them all of God's love that the parents they don't have will never show them. I'm building a beautiful relationship with a girl named Jocelyn, whom I have never really known before. He even sent a friend on the trip with me to share in the experience. If this is all He wanted me down here for, I would be happy. I just want to do His will.
I like to have everything planned out perfectly. I like to have goals, and know exactly how I'm going to get to them. Look in my planner and you will find every single step to every single day written down. Doing this whole life thing God's way dosen't exactly give me a stop by stop map of where I will be in the next few years. It is really hard at times. Many times I want to take things into my control, mapping out my life the way I want it to be. But, I think that if I give God the control over my life, I'm going to be much happier. It will not always be the easier way; I'd rather be home at times with my family. It may not be the most fun way; my heart is being broken into a million pieces each day here. It may not be the fastest way even, but it is the best way. I'm sure of that.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him - Psalm 37:4,7
Beautiful girl, six years old, huge smile, loves to be outside, does not like to wear shoes, rambunctious, never ending personality, always moving, likes to play in the grass, loves peek a boo, learning, learning to talk, learning to play monkey see monkey do, growing.
Growing. Her biggest gift and worst nightmare all in one word. For this little one, growing is exciting, but it's also going to bring with it sadness.
We have all seen people with Down Syndrom, they can be normal people if their given the right resources. Depending on the severity, they can do pretty much everything we do. They can work, make friends, live, eat, go to the bathroom, learn. Growing is exciting, they are moving on to bigger and better things.
Naylee is moving on to being strapped down half of her life. The last time I saw her, the moms had just started tying her into a wheelchair because she tried to go outside all of the time. I hadn't seen her again until today, but I had gotten reports from other volunteers that she was still being tied to a chair. Today as I walked in the baby room, she was the first person I saw. She can sure light up a room with that personality. I sat down beside her and couldn't figure out why she wasn't moving from her spot on the floor. As I investigated, I saw she was tied down. Instead of tying her into a chair, they have started tying her to a chair turned sideways, and then it is tied to something else. When she was tied into the chair, she would end up tipping over all the time because she wanted out so much.
I got to take Naylee outsideto play today for about three hours. It amazes me how much he has grown in seven months. She loves to play games, and is starting to learn how to wave and say "hola."
As Naylee gets older, she gets closer to moving up to the older children room. This is the room where there are a ton of kids, almost all in wheel chairs. The moms ge them ready in the morning, tied to their chairs, and then set them in front of the tv. They are fed at lunch, and then set in front of the tv. That is not how we are supposed to live. If Naylee is good, she may not be forced into a wheelchair, but if she stays as vivacious as she is now, she will be.
And yet, as bad as it sounds, I have to thank God she is in this orphanage. Most are not this good.
Many orphanage systems in Europe keep children with downs syndrom in fairly good orphanages until they are five. Then, they get transfered to a mental asylum. Here, 95% of babies with Down Syndrom die. 95% of babies with Down Syndrom die. Here, they are strapped into cribs and left to die. Here is one of these precious little girls. The first picture is before she was transferred. The second is a few weeks after she was transferred.
Naylee would be in one of those places, where she would most likely die. I am thankful for where she is. But that still is no reason for this bright young thing to be treated like she is. Not when the bible says this:
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9
And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. Matthew 18:5
I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me! Matthew 25:40
If you want to read about some families that have taken on the burden of the orphans around the world, and what they are doing, or want to read about adoption, go to the link at the top of my blog titled "some really great stuff..."
j
